One of the most important concepts for new massage therapists to embrace is non-attachment. I truly believe this can make or break your career in massage therapy. I’ve seen many therapists become overly attached to their work, and this attachment often leads to burnout. So, let’s discuss one of the biggest forms of attachment that massage therapists struggle with: treatment results.
The Trap of Attachment to Treatment Outcomes
Many massage therapists become obsessively attached to the results of their treatments. By this, I mean they are fixated on whether or not their massage “worked.” Just try having a conversation with therapists about the existence of trigger points (whose existence is still debated in the research), and you’ll see what I mean. The idea that what they believe they are doing might not actually align with what’s happening in the body can feel incredibly threatening when they’re deeply attached to a particular narrative.
There’s a temptation to take full credit when a client has a transformative experience during a session. After all, it was your hands that made the change, right? If you believe:
• That your hands are the sole change agent,
• That your touch alone transforms “lifeless” tissue into something pliable,
• And that tight, restricted tissue is solely responsible for your client’s pain…
…then it’s easy to become deeply attached to that belief. But this kind of thinking places an enormous weight on your shoulders.
Shifting the Perspective: Working with the Nervous System
When I start teaching about the role of the nervous system, I emphasize that the brain is the true control center of the body. Our muscles are highly innervated and constantly communicate with the brain. It’s not simply our hands that “fix” anything. Instead, through touch, we are communicating with the nervous system, inviting it to soften and let go.
The reality is that any increased pliability in the tissue is often just hyperemia—a natural increase in blood flow stimulated by touch. This reframing shifts the power back to the client. It’s not about you being a miracle worker; it’s about collaborating with your client’s nervous system to help them achieve relaxation and healing.
The Dangers of a “Fixer” Mindset
Consider the kind of relationship you build with clients when you position yourself as the only one who can “fix” them. It implies they are broken, and you are the solution. This creates a power imbalance that can foster unhealthy dynamics. Even if this doesn’t always lead to problematic outcomes, it certainly increases your stress and sense of responsibility. Feeling like you must be the fixer for everyone is not only draining but also unnecessary.
Instead, think of the therapeutic relationship as a partnership. You and your client’s nervous system are working together to bring their body back into balance. Your role is simply to knock on the door and remind their body that it’s safe to release tension. Massage is about guiding the nervous system back to a regulated state through touch, movement, and new sensory input.
Aparigraha: An Open Hand Approach
To remember the principle of Aparigraha, I imagine an open hand. When I notice myself tightening up with thoughts like, “I am special; my hands are the only ones that can help this person,” it’s like clenching a fist. Letting go means opening that hand and allowing myself to simply be a guide—a humble facilitator in my client’s healing process.
By practicing Aparigraha, we can stay present, release the need for specific outcomes, and create healthier, more balanced therapeutic relationships. It’s about letting go of the need to control and simply allowing yourself to be a mirror and a servant to your client’s journey.
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