Boundaries are something I emphasize a lot when working with massage therapists. Many of us tend to be natural people-pleasers, which can lead to allowing others to overstep our boundaries—if we even have them in place at all. When our boundaries are consistently violated, we may unconsciously bulldoze through others’ boundaries too. Learning how to set and uphold healthy professional boundaries is crucial for massage therapists.
Asteya: Non-Stealing as It Relates to Boundaries
The yogic principle I want to explore here is Asteya, which translates to “non-stealing.” I want you to think of a lack of boundaries as allowing others to steal your time and energy. Similarly, when you disregard someone else’s boundaries, you’re effectively stealing from them—taking their time, energy, or comfort. Boundaries are like containers that protect the integrity of our relationships, ensuring we can show up as the people we strive to be. Time is our most precious resource, and we must spend it wisely.
Let’s dive into two common boundary violations I see among massage therapists and explore how they relate to Asteya.
Physical Boundaries: Respecting Client Comfort
Physical boundaries relate to how we engage with our clients’ bodies and the space around them. This includes how much clothing they choose to remove and which areas of their body they want massaged. It’s vital to emphasize that clients have full autonomy during the session—this is how we make their nervous systems feel safe, cared for, and improve the effectiveness of the treatment. I always tell my clients they can undress to their comfort level.
There’s been some debate over the phrase “undress to your comfort level,” with some suggesting it might be unclear or unhelpful. The key is to communicate that no matter how much they choose to undress, they will still receive a great treatment. Talking through clients’ goals can also provide an opportunity to explain why certain areas might benefit from being exposed while reassuring them that their comfort and safety are your priorities.
Once a client has undressed, we apply the physical boundary of draping. Proper draping means uncovering only the part of the body being worked on and redraping when finished. This clearly communicates to the client where you will touch and where you will not. A common boundary violation I see is therapists reaching under the drape to work on areas like the glutes without clear communication or permission.
The Ethics of Glute Massage and Draping
Let’s discuss an explicit example: bare glute massage. I’ve seen therapists get lazy, not draping properly, and simply slipping their hand under the sheet to access the glute muscles. I’ve been guilty of this myself in the past, but here’s why it’s problematic: your client should always feel confident that you are prioritizing their comfort, safety, and autonomy. They should never have to question whether you are respecting their boundaries.
Taking extra steps—like asking for permission, explaining what you’re about to do, and even omitting that treatment until you can do it properly—demonstrates integrity. By honoring your clients’ boundaries, you’re building trust. Violating those boundaries, even unintentionally, is a form of stealing—taking comfort, safety, and security away from your client.
Think of trust like a bank account. Every action is a coin deposited into that trust bank. You want to keep adding coins, not withdrawing them. The more your clients trust you, the more effective your treatments will be. If you’re truly committed to helping your clients with their issues, you must also be committed to building and maintaining their trust.
Time Boundaries: Honoring Commitments
Time boundaries are another area where Asteya comes into play. Time-stealing occurs when we either shortchange our clients on their session or go over the allotted time. Both are forms of stealing, just from different people.
• Cutting sessions short: If a client has paid for a 60-minute massage and you only provide 55 minutes or less, you are effectively stealing money from them. They paid for your time, and it’s your responsibility to deliver what was promised.
• Going over time: Conversely, if you go beyond the scheduled session time—say, providing 65 or 70 minutes instead of the agreed 60—you’re stealing from yourself. You’re giving away your time for free, which could have been spent on another client or on yourself. You also rob yourself of the time needed to prepare for your next session or simply to rest between appointments. Upholding time boundaries allows you to leave work on time and maintain your own well-being.
Being integrous with your word and honoring your boundaries is crucial to fostering trust. By respecting both your clients’ time and your own, you demonstrate that you value yourself and them. In turn, this strengthens the therapeutic relationship and enhances the effectiveness of your work.
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